We all have them, and for me it's today. One of those days.
I'm just gonna put this out there...
To the epic face-line embedded in my cheek this morning thanks to my pillow: Did you seriously just outlast a long hot shower and my entire morning routine? Am I really going to work like this?
To the top stair at the entrance of my building: Did you grow a half inch over night? Why must you insist on making me look like an idiot?
To the student requesting to meet with me after 9pm: After nearly an entire school year, can't you see that I try my darnedest to stick to actual, professional, real-life, normal-person business hours?
To the comedian who decided to put salt in the (not see-through) pepper shaker at my table in the cafeteria: No question, just this---you're a jerk.
To the zipper of my pants, located in the crotchular region: How long have you been down? To be honest, at this point all I really care to know is whether you were down while I was interviewing a prospective candidate for my department today.
I mean, come on.
...oh well. On to a better tomorrow, and an even mo' bettah weekend.