Two observations: (1) Grief is a crazily convoluted emotion, and (2) eating while laugh-crying feels awkward. But in that moment, it was what I needed to do---I'm sure of it. We all have that tipping point, where the surface tension of bottled up emotions finally spills over, and apparently that moment was mine.
My reactions to grief have ranged in my lifetime from convincing myself that the benevolent spirit of a loved-one resided in my family's spare bedroom, to a full-blown anxiety of flying in airplanes, and even to a habit of changing the radio station whenever a Modest Mouse song is on. And I guess this time around, I needed some junk food and an upbeat, goofy love song.*
Do yourself a favor. Don't ever let anyone tell you that there's one way to grieve that's better than others, because my life experiences so far have taught me that not only is that not the case, but you can never predict how you'll react to grief. Don't limit yourself.
Life is so beautiful, so precious. Gosh, I hope you're enjoying it.
*Thank goodness Dr. D will be home in a week to remind me how nutritionally gross McDonald's is, because so help me, I didn't think the chicken was half bad...