Dear Dr. D,
Well, this whole distance thing isn't getting any easier, now is it? I suppose that's an excellent sign for our marriage.
I know you don't know it yet, but today we had a fight---just a small one. In my head. And I realize that it's not really fair for me to have a disagreement with you (as well as a resolution), all without you actually being an active participant in any of it, so I suppose it's only fair that I let you know what went down.
You see, this morning I went into the kitchen to grab a paper towel. Had I not done this, I wouldn't have bickered with you telepathically from over 2,000 miles away. But honey, you've got to know that I periodically need paper towels. I just do.
I didn't need very much paper towel, which is why when I pulled on the roll and didn't meet the perforated end until much later than I expected (resulting in a big ol' honkin' paper towel of wastefulness), I discovered that you hadn't purchased the half-sheet style that we always buy. I found myself perturbed. Probably more perturbed than the situation actually warranted, I'll admit, but emotions are currently running high around these parts.
I tried to rip the gigantic paper towel I had in half, but of course in my frustration I ripped a little too zealously which left me with one three-inch wide triangle in one hand, and the rest of the towel in the other. This, of course, I blamed on you and not on my mounting irrational anger. I went on for the next few minutes being annoyed with you and vowed to be more specific on my next shopping list.
And then I went to the closet where we keep J-dog's food, and when I opened it up and saw the rest of the paper towel pack sitting there, I involuntarily laughed aloud.
The brand of paper towels you bought is called "Awesome!" (yes, exclamation included), and now it all makes perfect sense. I forgive you.
Loves,
Your Mrs.
{sarcasm implied, I believe}
